tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-123809472024-03-23T18:24:24.299+00:00Out on a dikeOut on a dike phr. [mid 19-C] (US) going out in one's best clothes. [DIKED DOWN]
I'm out as a dyke, occasionally out with a dyke. What I do when I'm out on a dike can become your business once I write about it here.Nicki Hastiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08688408490931426245noreply@blogger.comBlogger80125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12380947.post-8452152173894199162014-08-25T12:34:00.000+01:002014-08-25T12:36:53.420+01:00Nottingham is a Festival of Words<br />
<a href="http://battypip.wordpress.com/2014/08/04/festival2014/">Pippa Hennessy</a> has given me a hefty nudge to get on with something. It's about time too! Could there be any better way to begin afresh all over again at this old blog than in celebration of Nottingham's second Festival of Words?<br />
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I've been tagged! And there's not even a curfew. Just a licence to write.<br />
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I'm <a href="http://nottinghamwordfest.wordpress.com/2014/07/31/blogging-for-nottingham/">blogging for Nottingham</a> in support of <a href="http://nottinghamwordfest.wordpress.com/">Nottingham Festival of Words</a> which takes place in October this year. Once I've said a few words I'm delighted to be passing the baton to <a href="http://victoriaoldham.wordpress.com/">Vic Oldham</a> and <a href="http://authoramydunne.wordpress.com/">Amy Dunne</a>, and you know you're in for a treat because they even have 'writer' and 'author' in their blog titles.<br />
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<strong>What’s your connection with Nottingham and its spoken and written words?</strong><br />
I arrived in Nottingham in 1995 to work at <a href="http://www.nottinghamwomenscentre.com/">Nottingham Women's Centre</a>, after giving up a PhD about the marketing of fiction and how lesbians may operate as a community of readers. Let me get three things clear: I never gave up on lesbians; I never gave up on reading; and I never gave up on the promise of words to assist in building community. I brought all of that with me and discovered a new community to share this with.<br />
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Nottingham immediately excited me with its thriving voluntary and community sector. The Women's Centre housed a wonderful library of fiction, non-fiction, theory and grassroots activism. In fact, the library is undergoing a rejuvenation as I write and the Women's Centre asks you to <a href="http://www.nottinghamwomenscentre.com/lib-erate-feminist-library/">watch this space</a> on their site.<br />
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I wanted to call myself a writer from as early as I can remember. I only joined the Brownies so I could gain the writer's badge, and poetry became my preferred way to express myself, so I was already keen to mix with other creative people. Nottingham has been the base where I can embrace local grassroots activity as well as explore the wider world. I got involved with the trAce Online Writing Centre at Nottingham Trent University in 2000 and collaborated with writers across the globe. trAce is a piece of Nottingham (and world) writing history that shouldn't be forgotten, and fortunately <a href="http://tracearchive.ntu.ac.uk/">the trAce Archive</a> is preserved and searchable.<br />
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Nottingham continues to nurture my identity as a lesbian who writes. I've been able to get involved with <a href="http://sapphistwriters.blogspot.co.uk/">Sapphist Writers</a> and currently the Rainbow Writers' (LGBTQ) group which meets on the third Thursday of the month at <a href="http://www.nottinghamwritersstudio.co.uk/">Nottingham Writers' Studio</a>. We're so lucky that Nottingham is also home to the <a href="http://boldstrokesauthorfestuk.wordpress.com/">Bold Strokes Book Festival</a> in the UK. The next tagged bloggers, Vic and Amy, will be able to tell you more about that.<br />
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<strong>What do you love about Nottingham and its creative scene right now?</strong><br />
What's not to love? Nottingham represents opportunity for a writer or spoken word performer. It's friendly and compact, so it's easy to find your way around, but also large enough to have such variety on offer, including being able to develop fresh ideas and community projects.<br />
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For instance, I'm part of the Living with Depression Community of Interest in Nottinghamshire and creativity forms a large part of our awareness-raising and campaigns. We promote ourselves as <a href="http://depressionexpressionnotts.wordpress.com/">Depression Expression</a> and we're encouraging personal storytelling in order to improve local depression services. There's still a chance to get involved in the storytelling project and we're keeping our <a href="https://docs.com/17N5R">call for contributions</a> open.<br />
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Being involved last year in the first Nottingham Festival of Words was really motivating for me: having a goal to work towards with the promise of a supportive audience. There was a whole LGBTQ literature strand, and I was able to perform new material written especially for the Festival.<br />
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It's the diversity on my doorstep which I enjoy, and I'm really proud to be a member of <a href="http://www.nottinghamwritersstudio.co.uk/">Nottingham Writers' Studio</a> which is doing a great job of expanding the city's literary reputation and heritage.<br />
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<strong>How would you describe Nottingham to a visitor coming for the Festival of Words?</strong>
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Nottingham has helped me to learn what it is to be part of a vibrant community of writers. You can be sure of a warm welcome and get yourself introduced to diverse, talented voices. There's something for everyone here. Don't miss out.<br />
<br />Nicki Hastiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08688408490931426245noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12380947.post-57506791709715343342013-01-01T22:41:00.003+00:002013-01-01T22:41:58.993+00:00Starting all over again<p>I know I said I was back in my last post. Clearly, I wasn't. That's ok, because I'm learning I don't have to be perfect and this also involves teaching other people that they should learn to trust I will get things wrong. A real world example of this is: don't rely on me to get all the steps absolutely correct in every line dance. Believe in yourself. Rely on yourself. Then we can all have fun and laugh when we go wrong. It's powerful to realise you're not responsible for other people's bodies. Even more powerful to realise you're responsible for your own.</p>
<p>
Sometimes I'll be a leader; other times I'll be a follower; and then there are all those times I'll just prefer to stride alone.</p>
<p>
I've travelled a long way throughout 2012. It hasn't been at all easy. Do I know where I've been? Not at the time, perhaps. But the view looks good from here. Even looking back on the year it now kind of falls into place. It was necessary to disappear from the world in order to reappear for myself and to understand that I can have a future built on my terms. What other terms are there, you might ask? There are plenty of other terms when you're lost. In fact, only terms decided by anyone but yourself will seem like they'll do.</p>
<p>
I finally discovered some self-compassion. I'll be writing more about this, I expect. For today, I'm going to direct you over to <a href="http://firedragonblue.wordpress.com/2012/12/19/hello-darkness-my-old-friend/">a friend's blog</a>. She said it well there.</p>
<p>
My first significant action for 2013 has been to launch my redesigned website at <a href="http://www.nickihastie.demon.co.uk/">www.nickihastie.demon.co.uk</a>. This feels like a new beginning, a new representation of myself - perhaps a truer one - and it's an appropriate date to take this step. I don't need new year resolutions; I just need to remember that I can act in each moment. If I get it wrong, the next moment is waiting.</p>
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<a href="http://www.nickihastie.demon.co.uk/"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7i5v4rz5jI6cc6Pr1hjF8i6R-YLcuuCLHavJ2Acclnl2RpIHyumNfNkynSfZnjadOikYaSH2zY4EvwmVnzdkZQsmYMn2YTMwlGSVmcErAoMTBJut5LPZm9djf3bzZAIKuXHgy/s320/homepage.jpg" width="316" /></a></div>Nicki Hastiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08688408490931426245noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12380947.post-30864520371583934072011-06-25T15:06:00.007+01:002011-06-25T15:51:35.338+01:00When opportunity knocks it's time to be out, open and occupied<p>I've been away. I don't know where I've been so it's probably best not to ask me. There aren't any photos to restore the memories. I've been in rather than out. Closed rather than open. Vacant instead of occupied.</p>But that's all about to change. Last Saturday I was in Bewdley for a slice of 'Poetry, Performance and Pizazz' with two rather wonderful performance poets - <a href="http://www.emmapurshouse.co.uk/">Emma Purshouse</a> and <a href="http://www.wastiesspace.co.uk/">Heather Wastie</a> of <a href="http://www.brewerstroupe.co.uk/">Brewers' Troupe</a> - and other talented workshop participants. And I realised the poet, performer, and perhaps more importantly, the person in me could be reawakened.<br /><br />So tomorrow I'll be in Bewdley again, having been given the opportunity to read a couple of poems to folks in the streets alongside Emma. This is through the relationship Brewers' Troupe has formed with <a href="http://www.bewdleyopenstudios.webspace.virginmedia.com/index.html">Bewdley Open Studios</a>. More details on this weekend's readings can be found <a href="http://www.bewdleyopenstudios.webspace.virginmedia.com/bos_site_2011v1_10_04_004.htm">here</a>.<br /><br />So I'm back. And next time I'm away I may actually know where I am. Perhaps even where I'm going. First destination: Bewdley.Nicki Hastiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08688408490931426245noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12380947.post-61393278641451939162008-01-08T21:05:00.000+00:002008-01-08T21:20:51.357+00:00What happens when I'm not here?<p>My <a href="http://www.nickihastie.demon.co.uk/">website</a> is down. So yes, even though I just provided a link to it, it's probably best if you check back another day. If you do/did happen to check the link while the site is/was still down, there's a strange ego-enhancing message awaiting you. Ok, it may not enhance your ego! But for me - to see the words - "This site is unavailable because it is too busy" - well - that gives me a sense of pride, and yes, also a goodly amount of basic annoyance.</p>There are times when several days would pass without me realising that my site was down. It's not like I update it every day, so why would I look at it every day? I might never have known there was a problem. But today - yes today - I'm aware of it. And it's damned annoying! Just the fact that you can't see my profile photo while the site is down is annoying. This probably means I should upload a new photo. Let Blogger host it. One day I'll get round to that. Perhaps surprise you with a new photo.<br /><br />There's not much to worry about. It's an ISP problem. It will be fixed soon, I'm sure. The engineers are "looking in to it". The site really isn't "too busy" (partly because no-one can get to it currently); although it does get its fair share of visitors, wondering what I have to say about my shaved head and lesbians on TV. I do monitor. I know what's popular.<br /><br />So - in lieu of my site returning, here's a little download from my brain.<br /><br /><em><ul><li>Where does a website go when it's temporarily unavailable?</li><br /><li>Am I less me without my homepage?</em> </li></ul>Nicki Hastiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08688408490931426245noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12380947.post-19887508261931947532008-01-01T17:01:00.000+00:002008-12-13T03:54:49.426+00:002008: New Possibilities<p>Isn't that the great thing about January 1st? If we're inclined to think positively it can make us think even more positively. A new year, a new beginning. I'm pretty sure I need a new beginning with my blog because I seem to have neglected it for ages. I've never been that far away, although sometimes minds can travel extensively. Still, with all the talk of health consciousness which always follows possible excesses of the holiday season, I think it's important to remember that the mind also deserves a workout.</p><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhD8uJ1tB4osdQ_1UXrNcYbySN-EBMMjGgRn7CBuvkYc8qwIfw67ywF_e_T9C962coDlUiNt23qRITUvFYtIv2O0i0DUgXjfdj-tP7Tz-DVGLddjE_RDz192-BhOB2tI1CfUyCR/s1600-h/newglasses2.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhD8uJ1tB4osdQ_1UXrNcYbySN-EBMMjGgRn7CBuvkYc8qwIfw67ywF_e_T9C962coDlUiNt23qRITUvFYtIv2O0i0DUgXjfdj-tP7Tz-DVGLddjE_RDz192-BhOB2tI1CfUyCR/s320/newglasses2.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5150559700146606210" /></a>Here's a workout for the eye that I enjoyed over at <a href="http://www.afterellen.com/blog/the/linster/women-with-glasses-holiday-spec-tacular" target="_new">AfterEllen.com</a>: women who wear glasses are apparently getting hotter by the day. I'm happy to learn that lesbians have always known this. I updated my glasses in 2007. You can judge if they make me cool, hot, intelligent, sexy, accessible, geeky, or all of the above. None of these adjectives are mutually exclusive after all.Nicki Hastiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08688408490931426245noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12380947.post-20358515319596473872007-09-24T23:07:00.000+01:002008-12-13T03:54:49.625+00:00Find me at Womb Poetry<p>The summer/fall 2007 "Equinox" issue of <a href="http://www.wombpoetry.com/">Womb</a> went live yesterday, and my multimedia visual, voice, and textual poem sequence <em>Postcard Stream</em> is published there.</p>Check out all the contributors and view my work by clicking on my name at <a href="http://www.wombpoetry.com/summer%20issue/wombsummer2007.html">Womb Poetry</a>.<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBpb8LnrZYnPbKLXaN_zaPrH2ImMucf07IzhriQbYpmq0X6Ba0_zZmJTZZbOBAj5SxDVWZ2nfLlHdvwHdcBdLZdBP3McUhhEmkkhdb1RSMkt34RJMm5AHhVdOoY98GXDmiI6Ks8w/s1600-h/postcard.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBpb8LnrZYnPbKLXaN_zaPrH2ImMucf07IzhriQbYpmq0X6Ba0_zZmJTZZbOBAj5SxDVWZ2nfLlHdvwHdcBdLZdBP3McUhhEmkkhdb1RSMkt34RJMm5AHhVdOoY98GXDmiI6Ks8w/s400/postcard.jpg" border="0" alt="Postcards ... the first of many ..."id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5113449864244405586" /></a><br /><br />I'd love to hear your thoughts, impressions, comments. It's an interactive piece, so turn up your computer speakers and be prepared to move that mouse.<br /><br />I say more about <em>Postcard Stream</em> <a href="http://woman-stirred.blogspot.com/2007/09/virtual-postcards.html">here</a>.Nicki Hastiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08688408490931426245noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12380947.post-40549580844707099482007-09-24T22:26:00.000+01:002008-12-13T03:54:49.954+00:00Stirring up the airwaves<p>An American adventure can quite change things. How do you like this outlook?</p>Gazing out to sea in Provincetown, Massachusetts:<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6cvtAb9ja1BPAwNl-M17FglzXUMCaUZIQRvwOIW5SV175eAP11W2pkFCOI297H4N1scuxeNemWK-S2rWoGbJ4BDh_KTiLqepa64BUDvg7tNeqqn406LtH6MYAFmDsbDBVX3h1/s1600-h/blog14.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6cvtAb9ja1BPAwNl-M17FglzXUMCaUZIQRvwOIW5SV175eAP11W2pkFCOI297H4N1scuxeNemWK-S2rWoGbJ4BDh_KTiLqepa64BUDvg7tNeqqn406LtH6MYAFmDsbDBVX3h1/s320/blog14.jpg" border="0" alt="On the beach"id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5113888264441210210" /></a><br /><br />Or this one?<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhBw7wNR6O3ZHrEPNUJCJFD4oL8FIqncnoFDmTLanYVACdzuXXj9NBc4O7UaCtDdCvyN1mcU1TI9g7_Pe7Dm3JrwiVNm9CGRQMpcRi4u3GlwXxYtQhdpIFkDuM5RCW_upUz-GU/s1600-h/blog15.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhBw7wNR6O3ZHrEPNUJCJFD4oL8FIqncnoFDmTLanYVACdzuXXj9NBc4O7UaCtDdCvyN1mcU1TI9g7_Pe7Dm3JrwiVNm9CGRQMpcRi4u3GlwXxYtQhdpIFkDuM5RCW_upUz-GU/s320/blog15.jpg" border="0" alt="In the WGDR studio"id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5113888827081926002" /></a><br /><br />That's right! You can now hear me in conversation with Merry Gangemi each week on <a href="http://woman-stirred.blogspot.com/2007/09/woman-stirred-radio-guest-schedule.html">Woman-Stirred Radio</a>, offering commentaries on all things queer-shaped - mostly lesbian-shaped, I have to say - and mostly with a British spin. I'll also often be considering how our British and American cultures spin in and out of influencing each other.<br /><br />Listen in each Thursday. Stream the whole show live 9pm-11pm in the UK (4pm-6pm Eastern US Time) from <a href="http://www.wgdr.org/">WGDR</a>. There are always <a href="http://woman-stirred.blogspot.com/2007/09/woman-stirred-radio-guest-schedule.html">fantastic guests</a> and great musical choices.<br /><br />Actually, listen in next on 4th October. We're taking a break this week, but we'll be back!Nicki Hastiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08688408490931426245noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12380947.post-91835698400177350222007-09-24T22:18:00.000+01:002007-09-24T22:26:07.607+01:00My not-so-hidden adventures<p>Did I forget to tell you more about my American adventures? I think I did. Well, there are plenty of photos over at the <a href="http://woman-stirred.blogspot.com/2007_08_01_archive.html">Woman-Stirred August 2007 archives</a>.</p>You can also find videos of Julie R. Enszer and Merry Gangemi reading at Tea & Poetry in the <a href="http://woman-stirred.blogspot.com/2007_09_01_archive.html">September 2007 archives</a>. I have to say that because here we are in the final week of September already, and soon September will slip away because the nights are drawing in, and ... ok, ok, enough of that!Nicki Hastiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08688408490931426245noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12380947.post-82760822937320460352007-09-02T16:05:00.000+01:002007-09-02T17:39:48.122+01:00Poetry Pleasures<p>Here is some of what I got up to on my recent visit to the US: reading at the Tea & Poetry event in East Hardwick, Vermont. That's Merry Gangemi giving me a warm welcome. We were to read in the garden at Perennial Pleasures, but it was cold outside that particular afternoon.</p>The whole trip was fantastic.<br /><br />I'm treating this piece of video as a test. I hope more will follow, as well as more detail of my adventures.<br /><br /><center><object width="300" height="225"> <param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/122jEK_DZTM"> </param> <embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/122jEK_DZTM" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="300" height="225"> </embed> </object></center>Nicki Hastiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08688408490931426245noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12380947.post-63719332134474556852007-08-08T20:58:00.000+01:002008-12-13T03:54:50.127+00:00Travels of a Queer Poet<p>Yes - that's me! I'm here, I'm queer, and I'm travelling to the States to read poetry and meet two of my <a href="http://woman-stirred.blogspot.com">Woman-Stirred</a> friends in person for the very first time. I'm sure you've heard me talk about them before! So that really means I'm not here at all. In fact I'm over there - being queer, and friendly, and a poet. Or at least I will be very soon. If you see what I mean.</p>Here's what's going on. If you're in the Vermont vicinity, please come along and support us. I'm the one with the English accent.<br /><br /><br /><strong>BLACK SHEEP BOOKS presents:<br /><br />Three Queer Poets: <br />Readings by Julie R. Enszer, Merry Gangemi, and Nicki Hastie<br /><br />Tuesday, August 14 at 7:00 p.m.<br />at 4 Langdon Street, Montpelier, VT</strong><br /><br /><strong>Julie R. Enszer</strong>, a Maryland-based writer and lesbian activist, is published in "Iris: A Journal about Women," "Room of One's Own," "Long Shot," the "Jewish Women's Literary Annual," and the "Harrington Lesbian Literary Quarterly." Her book, "Homesteading: Essays on Life, Death, Sex, and Liberation," is forthcoming in winter 2008. For more on Julie, see <a href="http://www.julierenszer.com">http://www.JulieREnszer.com</a>. <br /><br /><strong>Merry Gangemi</strong> lives in Woodbury, VT, and is the host of Woman-Stirred Radio, a weekly queer cultural journal on WGDR 91.1 fm. Her work is published in the "Paterson Literary Review," "Journal of NJ Poets," "Harrington Lesbian Fiction Quarterly," the "Harrington Lesbian Literary Review," "Vermont Woman," and the "Hardwick Gazette." She produces the annual Tea & Poetry series, a Vermont literary festival now in its sixth year. For more on Merry, see <a href="http://www.merrygangemi.org">http://www.merrygangemi.org</a>. <br /><br /><strong>Nicki Hastie</strong> lives in Nottingham, England. She is a founding member of the Woman-Stirred blog. Her work is published in "Chroma," "Diva," "Trouble & Strife," and also in critical anthologies relating to women's health, coming out stories, lesbian fiction, and representations of lesbians in popular culture. For more on Nicki, see <a href="http://www.nickihastie.demon.co.uk">http://www.nickihastie.demon.co.uk</a>.<br /><br />* * *<br /><br /><a href="http://www.blacksheepbooks.org/">Black Sheep Books</a>, a community space and bookstore in Montpelier, Vermont, offers affordable radical and scholarly books, and hosts educational events on cultural and political topics. As an all-volunteer project, we are operated by a five-member collective hand in hand with a group of dedicated volunteers. Our principle focus is to provide access to anti-authoritarian Left ideas in a way that promotes intellectual debate and challenges today’s hegemonic culture. Together with horizontalist social movements and political projects, bookstores, infoshops, and publishers, Black Sheep Books works toward an egalitarian, ecological, and nonhierarchical society. <br /><br />Black Sheep Books<br />4 Langdon Street, Montpelier, Vermont<br /><a href="http://www.blacksheepbooks.org">www.blacksheepbooks.org</a> / 802-225-8906<br />Hours: Tues-Sat 11-6, Sun 11-5, Mon closed<br /><br /><br /><br /><strong>And then, on Saturday 18 August, what better than Tea and Poetry?</strong><br /><br />You really won't want to miss us in the gardens of <a href="http://www.perennialpleasures.net/">Perennial Pleasures</a> for this Vermont literary festival, now in its sixth year thanks to the organisational skills and poetic-mindedness of Merry Gangemi. Voluntary donations benefit the <a href="http://www.afscvt.org/">AFSC VT office</a> youth outreach and education program.<br /><br />Readings are at 1pm and 3pm on both Saturday and Sunday. Julie, Merry, and I will be reading on Saturday at 3pm. Don't forget to bring a lawn chair!<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcmUv47bQbDVu3l-aJxFN4szg1dqXV_mchpng2TpaOngtCVzWBaPPpCuIymtMh4qc0LfPDNNUVNBqFbBAKgYbxftFSebRafMrTr9lS5TJS2g81Dvk_XJ2HUyerBt0YtoTyGafj/s1600-h/tea&poetrysml.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcmUv47bQbDVu3l-aJxFN4szg1dqXV_mchpng2TpaOngtCVzWBaPPpCuIymtMh4qc0LfPDNNUVNBqFbBAKgYbxftFSebRafMrTr9lS5TJS2g81Dvk_XJ2HUyerBt0YtoTyGafj/s400/tea&poetrysml.jpg" border="0" alt="Tea & Poetry poster"id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5096425472761273090" /></a>Nicki Hastiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08688408490931426245noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12380947.post-90534381450997529202007-08-08T20:28:00.000+01:002007-08-08T21:33:48.278+01:00Ellen is not alone<p>I'd already come out a decade before, and none of us ever thought Ellen was alone in discovering her sexuality, but sometimes you've got to run with the times and make things so much more obvious. So I bought the t-shirt in 1997, the year when Ellen came out, declaring just that: "Ellen is not alone", and I wore it to work as a statement. Not that I was coming out too, because like I said, I was already out. But not everyone chooses to recognise these things, even when it's obvious. And yes - we deserve recognition!</p>So, it's kind of cool that I should now resemble Ellen in this quiz.<br /><br /><table style="width: 320px; border: 1px solid gray; font: normal 12px arial, verdana, sans-serif; background-color: white;"><tr><td colspan="2" style="background: white; color: black; padding: 5px;"><b style="font: bold 20px 'Times New Roman', serif; display: block; margin-bottom: 8px;">What famous lesbian do you most closely resemble?</b> <div style="font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 4px;">My Result: <b>Ellen Degeneres</b></div><div style="width: 200px; background: white; border: 1px solid black;"><div style="width: 93%; background: red; font-size: 8px; line-height: 8px;"> </div></div><p style="margin: 10px; border: none; background: white; color: black;">You're quick-witted, smart, savvy and you have a killer sense of humor. You are an active member of the Lesbian community and the only closet you're in is the one with all your clothes.</p></td></tr><tr><td style="color: black; background: white; padding: 3px;">Melissa Ethridge</td><td style="background: white; padding: 3px;"><div style="width: 100px; background: white; border: 1px solid black; margin-top: 4px;"><div style="width: 88%; background: red; font-size: 8px; line-height: 8px;"> </div></div></td></tr><tr><td style="color: black; background: white; padding: 3px;">Katherine Moennig</td><td style="background: white; padding: 3px;"><div style="width: 100px; background: white; border: 1px solid black; margin-top: 4px;"><div style="width: 81%; background: red; font-size: 8px; line-height: 8px;"> </div></div></td></tr><tr><td style="color: black; background: white; padding: 3px;">Rosie O'Donnell</td><td style="background: white; padding: 3px;"><div style="width: 100px; background: white; border: 1px solid black; margin-top: 4px;"><div style="width: 58%; background: red; font-size: 8px; line-height: 8px;"> </div></div></td></tr><tr><td style="color: black; background: white; padding: 3px;">Tammy Lynn Michaels</td><td style="background: white; padding: 3px;"><div style="width: 100px; background: white; border: 1px solid black; margin-top: 4px;"><div style="width: 45%; background: red; font-size: 8px; line-height: 8px;"> </div></div></td></tr><tr><td style="color: black; background: white; padding: 3px;">K D Lang</td><td style="background: white; padding: 3px;"><div style="width: 100px; background: white; border: 1px solid black; margin-top: 4px;"><div style="width: 40%; background: red; font-size: 8px; line-height: 8px;"> </div></div></td></tr><tr><td style="color: black; background: white; padding: 3px;">Portia Di Rossi</td><td style="background: white; padding: 3px;"><div style="width: 100px; background: white; border: 1px solid black; margin-top: 4px;"><div style="width: 33%; background: red; font-size: 8px; line-height: 8px;"> </div></div></td></tr><tr><td style="color: black; background: white; padding: 3px;">Jackie Warner</td><td style="background: white; padding: 3px;"><div style="width: 100px; background: white; border: 1px solid black; margin-top: 4px;"><div style="width: 12%; background: red; font-size: 8px; line-height: 8px;"> </div></div></td></tr><tr><td colspan="2" style="text-align: center; padding: 8px;"><a href="http://www.gotoquiz.com/what_famous_lesbian_do_you_most_closely_resem"><b>What famous lesbian do you most closely resemble?</b></a><br><a href="http://www.gotoquiz.com/">Make a Quiz</a></td></tr></table><br /><br />Coming out. Closet. Clothes. Did you notice how I managed to reference them all in my opening paragraph? Not just a clothes horse, me. Oh no! As for that killer sense of humour ... well ... I rest my case.Nicki Hastiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08688408490931426245noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12380947.post-8943132115321482092007-07-07T23:53:00.000+01:002007-07-08T00:24:30.548+01:00Books are for life<p>I started cataloguing my book collection once. My lesbian-themed book collection, that is. At the time I started doing this (1993) it was probably seen as a particularly nerdy thing to do, especially using bibliographical software. That did take a certain amount of commitment, and I abandoned the project a few years later. But nothing will dispel my belief that lesbians and libraries really go together very well!</p> Now, with the help of the latest online tools, it's so much easier for everyone to be a would-be librarian. So I'm trying out <a href="http://www.librarything.com/" target="_new">LibraryThing</a>, and you can see my most recently acquired books by scrolling down the page and checking out the righthand margin of this blog.<br /><br />Congratulations to <a href="http://hometown.aol.com/jrenszer/home.html">Julie R. Enszer</a> who has two poems published in <em><a href="http://www.queercollection.com/" target="_new">Queer Collection: Prose & Poetry 2007</a></em>, and very kindly sent me a copy. This anthology is well worth a read, and the editor is already on the lookout for submissions for the 2008 collection.Nicki Hastiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08688408490931426245noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12380947.post-72197526894575680752007-06-15T23:32:00.000+01:002007-06-15T23:37:32.268+01:00Window seat in standard class<p>I was in London today. Getting there by train, I had these thoughts.</p><br /><strong>Not Blue</strong><br /> <br />The pen is black.<br />If blue I might<br />have needed to stop<br />in order to decide<br />whether to continue.<br />I could have been<br />wrongly poised,<br />paper averse.<br />For now,<br />the day is saved.<br /> <br /> <br /><strong>London-bound</strong><br /> <br />Windows are for looking out and through,<br />but harsh train lights present my twin,<br />hovering over opposite tracks.<br />It's impossible not to see - <br />half-turned in acknowledgement -<br />dark circles under eyes,<br />pores like newsprint dots.<br />I would not choose this early start.<br />Beyond me sheep have woken to rain,<br />resisting dampness beneath railroad arches.<br />Creatures waiting to emerge from shadows.<br /> <br /> <br /><strong>Turn-Ups</strong><br /> <br />Yesterday I caught a leaf<br />in my trouser turn-up.<br />Was it there all afternoon?<br />Or did it drop later with the rain?<br />Carried home in a thoughtful haze,<br />showing me how to attend to the world.<br />I scooped it out, a yellow veined disc,<br />embarrassed what else might have<br />been not-quite-concealed as we talked.<br />Crumbs from my lunchtime sandwich?<br />A crisp from the lunchtime before?<br />Once I found a paperclip.<br />I think I can be forgiven one small leaf.<br />Leaves will fall where they please.Nicki Hastiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08688408490931426245noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12380947.post-51383568139456009722007-05-19T16:20:00.000+01:002007-05-19T16:27:24.472+01:00Know Your Tomboy<p>This <em>is</em> <strong>Out on a dike</strong>. I had no choice but to find out my fashion era.</p><table cellpadding=0 cellspacing=0 border=0 width=420 bgcolor=#FFFFFF><tr><td bgcolor=#000000 colspan=4 height=25 valign=middle><a href="http://www.gurl.com?par=gu|blog|fashion_era" target="_blank"><img src="http://a820.g.akamai.net/f/820/822/1d/i.ivillage.com/gurl/play/quizzes/quiz_fashion_era/blog/gURL_blog_logo.gif" border="0" alt="gURL.com" align=left></a><font face=arial size=2 color=#FFFFFF>I took the <strong>"<a href="http://www.gurl.com/play/quizzes/pages/1,,688640,00.html?par=gu|blog|fashion_era" target="_blank"><font color=#FFFFFF>Retro Runway</font></a>"</strong> quiz on <a href="http://www.gurl.com?par=gu|blog|fashion_era" target="_blank"><strong><font color=#FFFFFF>gURL.com</font></strong></a></font></td></tr><tr><td><a href="http://www.gurl.com/play/quizzes/results/0,,605701_687843-1,00.html?par=gu|blog|fashion_era" target="_blank"><img src="http://a820.g.akamai.net/f/820/822/1d/i.ivillage.com/gurl/play/quizzes/quiz_fashion_era/blog/20s.gif" border="0"></a></td><td><img src="http://a820.g.akamai.net/f/820/822/1d/i.ivillage.com/i/t.gif" width=10 border="0"></td><td><font face=arial size=2 color=#000000><strong>My fashion is inspired by...<BR><font size=5>the '20s</font></strong><BR>Are you more tomboy than full out fashionista? Do you have a favorite pair of jeans that factor into every outfit? If so, the 1920s is the era for you. Known for shortened hemlines, wild times and a rebellious freedom, this decade shook up many general assumptions about gender. <a href="http://www.gurl.com/play/quizzes/results/0,,605701_687843-1,00.html?par=gu|blog|fashion_era" target="_blank"><font color=#007AA2>Read more</font></a>...<BR><BR><a href="http://www.gurl.com/play/quizzes/pages/1,,688640,00.html?par=gu|blog|fashion_era" target="_blank"><font color=#007AA2>Which fashion era do you belong in?</font></a></font></td><td><img src="http://a820.g.akamai.net/f/820/822/1d/i.ivillage.com/i/t.gif" width=10 border="0"></td></tr><tr><td bgcolor=#000000 colspan=4 height=25></td></tr></table><br /><br />That's reassuring. Anything else and I would have needed to appeal!Nicki Hastiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08688408490931426245noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12380947.post-18486734251959097172007-05-09T22:56:00.000+01:002007-05-09T23:09:49.793+01:00I'm a Poet<table cellpadding=0 cellspacing=0 border=0 width=420 bgcolor=#FFFFFF><br /><tr><td bgcolor=#000000 colspan=4 height=25 valign=middle><a href="http://www.gurl.com?par=gu|blog|poet" target="_blank"><img src="http://a820.g.akamai.net/f/820/822/1d/i.ivillage.com/gurl/play/quizzes/quiz_color/blog/gURL_blog_logo.gif" border="0" alt="gURL.com" align=left></a><font face=arial size=2 color=#FFFFFF>I took the <strong>"<a href="http://www.gurl.com/play/quizzes/pages/0,,643134,00.html?par=gu|blog|color" target="_blank"><font color=#FFFFFF>If You Were a Poet...</font></a>"</strong> quiz on <a href="http://www.gurl.com?par=gu|blog|poet" target="_blank"><strong><font color=#FFFFFF>gURL.com</font></strong></a></font></td></tr><tr><td><a href="http://www.gurl.com/play/quizzes/results/0,,605701_625823-5,00.html?par=gu|blog|poet" target="_blank"><img src="http://a820.g.akamai.net/f/820/822/1d/i.ivillage.com/gurl/play/quizzes/quiz_poet/blog/sapphire.jpg" border="0"></a></td><td><img src="http://a820.g.akamai.net/f/820/822/1d/i.ivillage.com/i/t.gif" width=10 border="0"></td><td><font face=arial size=2 color=#000000><strong>I am...<BR><font size=5>Sapphire</font></strong><BR>Do you tell it like it is, even if "it" ain't pretty? Then Sapphire, (aka Ramona Lofton) may be your poetic predecessor. Sapphire is a jewel of a poet, but you won't find any precious language in her books. <a href="http://www.gurl.com/play/quizzes/results/0,,605701_671100-6,00.html?par=gu|blog|poet" target="_blank"><font color=#007AA2>Read more</font></a>...<BR><BR><a href="http://www.gurl.com/play/quizzes/pages/0,,643134,00.html?par=gu|blog|poet" target="_blank"><font color=#007AA2>Which poet are you?</font></a></font></td><td><img src="http://a820.g.akamai.net/f/820/822/1d/i.ivillage.com/i/t.gif" width=10 border="0"></td></tr><tr><td bgcolor=#000000 colspan=4 height=25></td></tr></table><br /><BR>Nicki Hastiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08688408490931426245noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12380947.post-70120274527448870602007-03-23T21:50:00.000+00:002007-03-25T15:43:59.392+01:00Gay's The Word Needs Your Support!<p>The last surviving lesbian and gay bookshop in the UK is under threat.</p>I love <a href="http://freespace.virgin.net/gays.theword/" target="_new">Gay's The Word Bookshop</a>. Every time I go to London I try to make the effort to get there - and to buy books. We need bookshops. You can browse online, but you can't hold the books in your hand. It's difficult to come across the surprising find, the older titles, online: the history of our struggles and our celebrations.</p>Please do what you can to support <strong>Gay's The Word</strong>. You can sponsor a shelf and help safeguard the bookshop's future.<br /><br />Read about the authors supporting the bookshop in <a href="http://entertainment.timesonline.co.uk/tol/arts_and_entertainment/books/article1462206.ece" target="_new">Times Online</a> and <a href="http://books.guardian.co.uk/news/articles/0,,2039806,00.html?gusrc=rss&feed=1" target="_new">Guardian Online</a>.<br /><br />Bookshops are a vital part of community-building. Our words are our future!Nicki Hastiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08688408490931426245noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12380947.post-61330726493543668192007-03-23T20:24:00.000+00:002007-03-23T20:40:11.104+00:00Let's Talk Toenails<p>Am I missing something? What's wrong with clipping your toenails in the living room? What room would you rather we did it in?</p>Ok, it was <a href="http://www.afterellen.com/blog/malinda/straight-takes-on-the-l-word" target="_new">a straight woman writing about The L Word</a> who made the comment about straight men clipping their toenails in the living room being a cliché and a cheap shot at men. But then, the lesbians got in on the act, and someone claimed: "i have never witnessed a woman (regardless of orientation) or a gay man do it" (clip their toenails in the living room, that is).<br /><br />What world are we living in that women or men (regardless of orientation) are denied living room space to clip their toenails in?<br /><br />I shave my head on the landing. I clip my toenails, and my fingernails, in the living room. My hair clippers are kept in the cupboard on the landing. My nail clippers are stored in a box in the living room. It makes perfect sense for me and my partner to clip nails in the living room. We collect our nail clippings in a rubbish bin and dispose of them. We don't distribute them all over the carpet and leave them there. We are two adult lesbians living in our own home. We can do what the f**k we like in our own living room!<br /><br />Since when did toenail clippings become an indicator of gender and/or sexuality?<br /><br />I guess it's a little sad that I got riled enough to blog about this, given that I seem to have been away from the blog for a month. Plus, I haven't even seen beyond Season 2 of <em>The L Word</em>. Maybe my problem is I feel I'm missing out!<br /><br />We used to look at a woman's fingernails and make pointed comments. Do we have to check her toenail habits now, too?Nicki Hastiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08688408490931426245noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12380947.post-62072791112251515572007-02-25T16:01:00.000+00:002007-02-25T16:45:36.171+00:00A Night of Lesbian Entertainment<p>What might that look like? I can think of a few things. But if I have to start somewhere, then <em><a href="http://www.fsconcerts.co.uk/An%20L%20of%20a%20night%20nottingham.htm" target="_new">An L of a Night</a></em> at <a href="http://www.nottinghamplayhouse.co.uk" target="_new">Nottingham Playhouse</a> paints a satisying image. That's where I spent an enjoyable evening last night, along with my partner and <strong>708</strong> other lesbians! Can you imagine that many lesbians in one room?</p>Quite what we were all doing there is worth analysis. As host of the evening, <a href="http://www.belindaohooley.com/" target="_new">Belinda O'Hooley</a>, quipped: "Why would any lesbian want to go out now that <em>The L Word</em> is available on DVD?"<br /><br />Oh, but it seems that if we are offered our own particular brand of L-entertainment then we will turn out in our hundreds! The event was sold out weeks in advance. L-entertainment. Lentertainment. I like that. I'm sure others have used that word before, but I'll pretend it's a new L Word made up by me just now. I'm not religious, so the peculiarities of Lent tend to go over my head, but I'm pretty sure none of us would choose to give up our lesbians. Not me.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.greymatter-music.co.uk" target="_new">Greymatter</a> opened the evening. They really are very special as a live act, and I enjoy The Indigo Girls influences. Plenty of other influences, too. Em and George as lead vocalists know how to connect with an audience. They have an easy charisma, and it's clear there's a great rapport between them. I'm hoping Greymatter will take up an invitation to be interviewed on <a href="http://woman-stirred.blogspot.com/2006/09/woman-stirred-radio-guest-schedule_20.html">Woman-Stirred Radio</a>. Greymatter also played their pre-show publicity well, encouraging their fans to wear the newly-available Greymatter t-shirts. Here's a band that's going places.<br /><br />Next up was <a href="http://claresummerskill.co.uk/index.php" target="_new">Clare Summerskill</a> with her original songs and comedy dissecting the quirkiness and tribulations of lesbian relationships in a way this audience could definitely relate to. Get us together in a large enough group and we're good at laughing at ourselves. I enjoyed the jokes about wondering what to wear and Clare's comment about it being so much easier if only there was a lesbian clothes shop on every high street. The punchline: "Oh, there is one! We've got Millets."<br /><br />The interval came, and it's not easy being among that many women when you need to join the toilet queue. Actually, it was entirely civilised and fairly fast-moving - does the average dyke spend less time in a toilet cubicle than other women? It depends what we're doing in there, I suppose. But you do have to wonder if someone can't invent a new system for toileting that takes us more quickly through the relevant stages while still allowing for the highest standards of hygiene and privacy.<br /><br />Back on stage with <a href="http://www.alstart.co.uk/" target="_new">Al Start</a>, whom I have to admit I hadn't heard sing before and had mostly overlooked when she was featured in Diva Magazine. She has an engaging image and laid-back stage presence, and my partner Andrea commented to me that she has a look of Matthew Perry from his early <em>Friends</em> days. She does as well. I'd call this cute. Al Start writes tender, rocky songs about her 1970s childhood and personal experiences, and she calls her guitar Mabel. I'm a sucker for women who develop friendships with instruments and objects.<br /><br /><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sue_Perkins" target="_new">Sue Perkins</a> had top billing. I bet she had her suit, including waistcoat, tailored especially for her. I'm busy looking for a new waistcoat at the moment. Sue Perkins was presented with a comedy gift in the person of Mary, the British Sign Language signer. Sue was never in any danger of being upstaged - she's a consummate professional and performer, making best use of the moment, including audience participation (and lack of it) - but Mary was a total star. Signing some very choice language created hilarious moments, including "verruca" (an audience contribution), "bollocks", "ladynuts" and "special needs mule", which caused confusion when Mary heard this as "special needs meal"! Sue Perkins in live stand-up must be seen.<br /><br />It was a real shame when one audience member almost spoilt the tone of the whole night, right at the end of Sue's slot, by questioning how often comedians update their material and why it would be worth paying to see a comedian in stand-up regularly. Trust an audience of lesbians to make it a controversial night. As Sue had commented earlier after a joke about the Pope (she's allowed to, she was brought up Catholic), the only murmurs of protest she's ever received doing this routine were from <em>this</em> lesbian audience. Can you believe it? Unfortunately, I can. But you can also rely on an auditorium of lesbians to back up a star performer against a voice of dissent when they believe that voice is wrong. Sue Perkins showed her balls alright, and she got a standing ovation. I hope she doesn't go away cursing the Nottingham audience.<br /><br />Go and see Sue Perkins in stand-up. There was some wonderful material on Ruth Kelly. Listen to her radio shows. Belinda O'Hooley, very funnily, couldn't remember what those shows are when doing her introduction, but you can see them at Sue's wikipedia entry.<br /><br />A Night of Lesbian Entertainment should involve supporting our out lesbian performers, if and when we can afford to. I know ticket prices for live performance will always be an issue that excludes some women. We need music, humour, voices and affirmation to enrich our lives. We deserve that.<br /><br />Why is it we have so few recognised names to invite onto the bill for future <em>L of a Night</em> events? Today, I found this <a href="http://www.chortle.co.uk/shows/edinburgh_fringe_festival_2005/s/1645/sue_perkins%3A_spectacle_wearer_of_the_year_2006/review/" target="_new">reference</a> to the fact that Sue Perkins' "earnings plummeted 65 per cent in the year after she came out as a lesbian". Makes you think, doesn't it?Nicki Hastiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08688408490931426245noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12380947.post-31182474987672614182007-02-21T19:30:00.000+00:002007-02-21T20:38:29.695+00:00Empowering<p>Thank you to everyone who visited my blog for possibly the first time today, or yesterday, following the link from the BBC News website. Shaved heads are big news still - when it's a woman's head. Britney Spears shaving her head appears to be even bigger news. So it's important somebody puts all of this into context, and I appreciate the way the BBC contacted me and invited me to talk about my experience.</p>Read the BBC News article <a href="http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/6375683.stm">Mark of a woman</a>. The comments added by readers are very interesting. There are those who object to women shaving their heads. There are others who wonder what all the fuss is about and think we should be talking about something more significant.<br /><br />Yes indeed, what is all the fuss? I welcome the day there is no fuss. But in the meantime we need to understand that debates focusing on gender and sexual identities underpin the way society is constructed and also govern the way we are expected to lead our lives (informally, and more formally, even into legislative structures). I don't mean to suggest there are any laws (at least none I know of in the UK) about how one may or may not wear one's hair. But fascination, horror and any kind of judgement inbetween indicates just how far we have to go in claiming equal rights - and it's why I'm proud to be a feminist.<br /><br /><em>Oh right</em>, I hear you say. <em>So she shaves her head because she's a feminist. Typical lesbian-feminist stereotype!</em><br /><br />No, actually, or I might have got fed up with the look a long time ago. Remember, I've been shaving my head for nearly 20 years. What being a feminist does is help me to believe in myself and to carry on respecting myself regardless of the people who want to dictate how a woman should be, how she should behave, and how she should look.<br /><br />On the BBC website, there are also a sizeable number of comments emphasising the liberating and strengthening effects of head shaving, supporting my comment that Britney may be taking control and giving herself a fresh start, on her terms.<br /><br />I feel empowered by having been invited into the debate outside of this blog. Do I give myself a fresh start, then, every two weeks when I shave my head? I don't always need a fresh start. But I have this amazing opportunity to recognise myself fully, every two weeks - and the best thing is, I still like what I see.Nicki Hastiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08688408490931426245noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12380947.post-22837748980678848882007-02-18T20:14:00.000+00:002007-02-18T20:29:05.104+00:00Shaved: when the media has it in for you<p>The stereotypes about women with shaved heads are alive and well, then.</p>I don't know if Britney Spears is experiencing a breakdown. Perhaps she is. It's none of my business, and not for me to judge. But why should the media assume that choosing to shave her head is the ultimate sign that she's close to the edge and no longer in control of her own actions? Why can't this be an act of self-care? It could be a sign of emotional turmoil, a cry for help, or it could be a sign of someone who has decided to begin a therapeutic relationship with herself. She could very well be signalling the need for change in her life. She could, however, be beginning to take that control for herself.<br /><br />Admittedly, Britney Spears didn't shave her head in the privacy of her own apartment; she chose to go to a LA hair salon, attended by ravenous paparazzi and fans, a following which is never likely to help a situation appear cool, calm and collected. But this is a woman who has lived most of her life amidst a media circus. It doesn't necessarily mean this was a rash, frenzied or freakish decision.<br /><br /><blockquote>She had gone from gorgeous pop idol to grim GI Jane.</blockquote><br />This is one of the most depressing things I've read today on the subject of Britney's shaved head, and do you know where that's from? Not your average tabloid, but from an article in <a href="http://observer.guardian.co.uk/world/story/0,,2015787,00.html" target="_new">The Observer</a>. This reaction is not about one female pop idol. This goes to the heart of society's views on female beauty and what is considered acceptable behaviour for women. Shouldn't our Pop Princesses be able to change?<br /><br />I know all about the exposing effects of shaving your head when you're a woman. I know about the positive effects. I love myself shaved. Shaving my head is an act of self-love. I feel alive, honest, centred, attractive. Isn't this how most women feel when they decide to pamper themselves? Not all of us pamper in the same way. I often feel I think more clearly when freshly-shaved. I feel confident, more totally me. Definitely gorgeous; not at all grim.<br /><br />I hope the media take their attention elsewhere, allowing Britney Spears to do whatever she needs to do next, whether this is relaunching her career or entering rehab. Did you know the hair salon is now selling Britney's hair on eBay? Lay off the shaved head, you vultures.Nicki Hastiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08688408490931426245noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12380947.post-16367282972088914222007-02-12T21:07:00.000+00:002007-02-12T21:22:38.919+00:00Brain dump<p>I've just done <a href="http://www.bbc.co.uk/science/humanbody/sex/add_user.shtml" target="_new">another gender-based quiz</a> (thanks for telling me about it, Eloise), and it seems I pretty much have an average female brain. These were my results:<p>My brain has male and female traits when it comes to spatial ability.<br /><br />I definitely have a female-type brain when it comes to spot the difference, which makes me good at recalling landmarks to get from one place to another. Could come in handy for some of those women's or Sunday Celebs magazine competitions, too, if I could be bothered (yawn!)<br /><br />My left thumb is always on top when I clasp my fingers together, which suggests the right half of my brain is dominant. This means I may excel in visual, spatial and intuitive processes. I'm a right-hander but I do a lot with my left hand, and I think my left hand wants me to do more with it so that's why it's dominant ;-)<br />Apparently, right-brained people may be better fighters and artists.<br /><br />I'm a slightly better empathiser (11) than systemiser (9) which suggests a female brain. It means I'll always say sorry when I drop the flat pack furniture on your toe ;-)<br /><br />I'm sensitive to other people's emotions when it comes to looking at people's eyes. Women generally fall into this category.<br /><br />The length of my fingers, when comparing the ring to index fingers has a ratio closer to that of men than women. So maybe I <em>was</em> exposed to all that testosterone in my mother's womb! You know, I'm rather glad I have a masculine finger ratio.<br /><br />I prefer more masculine faces. This is no surprise. It's important to know that I was shown women's faces to choose masculine traits in. I guess I do prefer a long, broad and lower jaw and more pronounced cheekbones. Do masculine faces have more pronounced cheekbones? The BBC seem to think they do.<br /><br />I thought I was good at rotating images. I <em>was</em> good at this in 3rd-year Woodwork. Maybe I'm out of practice. They let me do Woodwork as a girl, but not Technical Drawing (that was out of bounds), so it's the schooling at fault. If I had have done Technical Drawing, I'd be ace at this! Those with a female brain or an arts background fall in the range I did. Oh well - I've got one of those arts backgrounds! That's schooling for you, too.<br /><br />I definitely outscored anyone - male or female - on the words test. A total of 26 words compared with 11.4 average for men and 12.4 average for women. I associated 18 words with grey and named 8 other words that mean happy. Maybe I've simply got verbal diarrhoea.<br /><br />If I was doing the test with someone and asked to split the money - well - it stands to reason I'd split the money with them. Which means "split", down the middle. Come on, guys! That's the meaning of split. So I went fifty-fifty. And that is supposed to make my testosterone levels measly! Well, I know better. It's all in the fingers - ha ha!!Nicki Hastiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08688408490931426245noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12380947.post-82009017790572780412007-02-11T19:43:00.000+00:002007-02-11T20:29:16.354+00:00Productively me<p>You know, I'm enjoying a really positive weekend. This is how weekends should be. Engaging and productive. I'm reminded how powerful I can be. Other people help that along. I mean, where's the point in being powerful all on my own? It only develops significance when it leads to stronger connections and communications.</p>I won't go into all the details. But there are a number of personal revelations that have come to the fore this week, and I'm determined to do my best with them. That's number one. On top of that, the holiday plans to meet up with my <a href="http://woman-stirred.blogspot.com" target="_new">Woman-Stirred</a> friends are moving along very nicely. This is really going to happen! America, here I come!! And today I was contacted by Mel over at <a href="http://users.livejournal.com/everette1_/347339.html" target="_new">everette_1's journal</a>, who told me she found meaning and motivation in my website words. How about that?<br /><br />Thanks for getting in touch, <a href="http://users.livejournal.com/everette1_/" target="_new">Mel</a>. And for inspiring me to do this quiz.<br /><br /><table width=350 align=center border=0 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=2><tr><td bgcolor="#F88B8B" align=center><font face="Georgia, Times New Roman, Times, serif" style='color:black; font-size: 14pt;'><b>You Are 60% Boyish and 40% Girlish</b></font></td></tr><tr><td bgcolor="#A7CEFF"><font color="#000000"><br />You are pretty evenly split down the middle - a total eunuch.<br />Okay, kidding about the eunuch part. But you do get along with both sexes.<br />You reject traditional gender roles. However, you don't actively fight them.<br />You're just you. You don't try to be what people expect you to be.</font></td></tr></table><div align="center"><a href="http://www.blogthings.com/howboyishorgirlishareyouquiz/">How Boyish or Girlish Are You?</a></div><br /><br />That's not too much of a surprise, is it? It's interesting, though, that I take great pride in coming out slightly more boyish than girlish. I really don't want to do girls down. I love girls. I guess it's just that I love boyish girls and those girls who reject traditional gender roles most of all. Haven't I always known that! Stereotypes, away with you!!Nicki Hastiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08688408490931426245noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12380947.post-54502150771157443492007-01-12T20:32:00.000+00:002008-12-13T03:54:50.473+00:00Hair to Stay<p>Good for <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shazia_Mirza" target="_new">Shazia Mirza</a>, the British Muslim comedian, whose New Year's resolution was to stop shaving her body hair.</p><blockquote>"The hairs are growing quite nicely, and I am now in a position to have my armpits styled and waxed, and my sideburns permed. I am learning to love my hair," she says.<br /><br /><a href="http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/6251239.stm" target="_new">Read the full article here</a></blockquote><br />Is hair really one of the last taboos when it comes to the female body, as this article suggests? Is it true that hairiness will not be tolerated? The comments following this BBC article suggest there might be more diverse opinion lurking in our midst. This could be hopeful. But I realise that the people tempted to comment on women's hairiness are likely to be those who feel most strongly about the issue - for and against.<br /><br />Why does this issue always capture the media spotlight in January? I last wrote on the subject in my <a href="http://nickihastie.blogspot.com/2006/01/deeply-depilatory.html">Deeply Depilatory</a> entry on 22 January 2006. Is it because most women can't be bothered to deal with their body hair during the winter months? Is hairiness tolerated only as long as it's covered up? Ah, I see it's not just that. It's also because Shazia is making a TV programme for the BBC, where hairy women will take part in a fashion show, modeling lingerie.<br /><br />Why does it have to be lingerie? Who needs to be convinced that hairy armpits and hairy legs (and while we're at it, hairy groins) are sexy? I've known this all my adult life.<br /><br />Who else agrees? Come on - arms up!<br /><br /><center><img style="margin:0 10px 10px 0;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcorQCP5v0jG6kGgwVht5OPTg4us1HArjUc8xxCcHSxR_KQKvTZp_FmbVP5TKTh9lsGxnQNBluhyphenhyphenFsUHgqHQjAQvQk1aNP0feQ7c1VyKZ65O1qat1au7A1jqVNJEIlKTfQuIhq/s320/Picture+014a.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5019246558115612754" /></center>Nicki Hastiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08688408490931426245noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12380947.post-20847571531724757582007-01-03T18:32:00.000+00:002007-01-03T23:46:50.998+00:00Coming Back For More<p>I like <a href="http://betwixtandbetween.blogspot.com/2007/01/gift-tagged.html" target="_new">Gavin's</a> style. He tagged me back for a further review of <a href="http://nickihastie.blogspot.com/2006/12/five-things-you-may-not-know-about-me.html">things you may not know about me</a>. Can there be more? There must be more, and still enough left over to leave me with at least a small air of mystery.</p>So here goes. Be warned, there are some lengthy stories here:<br /><ol><li>I'll get this one out of the way immediately. I didn't make any New Year's Resolutions for 2007. Ha ha! A revelation that reveals nothing. Or does it?</li><br /><br /><li>Injustice and inconsistency are the things I find hardest to deal with. The two things are linked in my mind because inconsistency in a person's behaviour often leads to unjust actions. I've seen that most in my working life. I had my first lesson in different kinds of injustice when I was ten years old. There may have been earlier lessons on the topic, but this is the first one I remember where it all turned out rather well. It was a small-scale event from where I sit now, but it filled the world of a ten year old.<br /><br />A new end to school break times was being trialed. Instead of the whistle being blown and the kids all running or dawdling into classes in a rowdy fashion, we had to stand still for two minutes, in total silence. Only after we'd achieved this were we allowed back inside, continuing our silence. Anyone who made a sound was sent to stand outside the head's office to wait for the wrath of the teacher on duty.<br /><br />This one break time someone in my group laughed after the whistle. I won't say who it was. It wasn't me. I must have had the guiltiest face, or perhaps I was the one smiling, because Miss Jones pointed me out with the evil finger, and I had to make the walk of shame, alone, past all the other silent pupils into the school. Miss Jones followed me in to let me know how disappointed she was, in me of all people! Later, my class teacher was mad at me too.<br /><br />That's when something snapped in my head. I didn't mean to be a snitch, but I couldn't stand how they were making me out to be badder than bad, just because they assumed me always to be good - and this time I hadn't even done anything! So I told my class teacher, Mrs Gundy, that it wasn't me. She believed me, but that wasn't the end of it. Just like in all the best police dramas, she wouldn't let me off until I gave her a name. I'm not sure I felt any better for doing that.<br /><br />I don't remember the other girl getting into trouble, nor giving me the cold shoulder, so perhaps nothing was said to her. I do remember how Miss Jones came to me the next day and said, "You've been dealt an injustice." Injustice was a serious and loaded word in my head, involving governments, laws, courts and prison, so I didn't understand what she meant at first. Then she apologised for what happened after the whistle. "There are all kinds of ways injustice can be experienced," she said. Miss Jones restored me in that moment. I admired her for that. Miss Jones taught me Maths, but this was her best lesson. It made me realise that the smallest things I might say (or not say) in my daily communication with others can have a dramatic effect.</li><br /><br /><li>A lot of things happened when I was ten. I read once that ten is meant to be the happiest year in a child's development. I'm not sure how that can be true for all children, or how they tested that statistically. Maybe it's about having one's sense of self more solidly recognised by other people. Reaching double figures is quite something.<br /><br />Perhaps something that happened when I was ten helped me understand I was a lesbian. Perhaps it opened up the possibility. It happened during a residential school trip to London with all of my class, plus a small group of children from another Herefordshire school. It was late June and a typical British summer. So why would any of us need our coats or waterproofs? That's the decision the lead teacher of our party made. "It's beautiful sunshine. We've got a lot of walking to do. Coats will just weigh you down. Leave your coats on the bus."<br /><br />It started pissing down with rain on the way to Big Ben. Quite a way from Big Ben, and there was no time to shelter because we were due to hear the great clock chime the hour. There would be other hours, of course, but we were booked in at this particular hour. You can't just walk up Big Ben any time you please.<br /><br />I was soaked, and the higher we got up the tower the colder I felt. We stood around for what seemed like forever and I shivered and shivered. I was part of a smaller group, led by Mrs Jones*, the only teacher from the other school. It wasn't Mrs Jones who made the decision about the coats. No mother would do that! I somehow know she was a mother; maybe because I watched her help two children out of the back seat of her car when, in a brief moment of astonished excitement, I saw her a couple of years later outside our local shops. But I didn't see her as a mother at the top of Big Ben. Nor even a teacher. She was already interesting because she had no existing relationship to me, none of the traditional authority figure presence that was within my ten year old's understanding. She was almost magical. It was as if she had appeared from nowhere to accompany us on a week's holiday.<br /><br />It seems unlikely that I would be the only one shivering. But I'm the one that Mrs Jones instinctively, naturally, yes, maternally, took in her arms and hugged and hugged. It was such a fantastic moment of human warmth, I loved her for it.</li><br /><br /><li>I enjoy watching <a href="http://www.theworldsstrongestman.com/" target="_new">The World's Strongest Man</a>. It's an annual event which is so much a part of the Christmas/New Year holiday for me, and I look forward to it every year.<br /><br />Do I watch it as a form of human freakery? I'm not sure that I do, although there is something fascinating about the human body's potential to recreate itself out of the realms of the ordinary. I do make assessments of these men's bodies. There is certainly more appeal to the well-toned solid muscle men than those whose sheer bulk is padded out with flab. And yet these men all compete against each other, all heights, weights and body shapes. And there can be surprising winners!<br /><br /><em>The World's Strongest Man</em> is on TV every night this week. The final's on Friday. It doesn't encourage me to take up body-building, or consider the muscle tone of men outside of such a contest, but I certainly enjoy being a spectator at this high-end of the sport.</li><br /><br /><li>In the summer of 1989 I worked in a psychiatric hospital as a cleaner. This is how I learned that I have an allergy to rubber gloves. I learned quite a few other things there. But say no more - for now!</li></ol><br /><br /><em>*And yes, both teachers depicted in 2. and 3. really were called Jones.</em>Nicki Hastiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08688408490931426245noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12380947.post-1167489281700123602006-12-30T14:19:00.000+00:002007-03-25T15:44:22.623+01:00The Twelve Books of Christmas<p>There is something enjoyable about making lists at the year end, and particularly if the items on those lists have already happened. So I'm going to show you part of my last diary entry from 1986. It makes me feel I already knew myself pretty well back then.</p><blockquote><em><strong>December 30th 1986</strong></em><br /><br />So, how was my Christmas?<br /><br />Not too bad, thankyou, although I did feel decidedly ill Christmas Day. I felt as if I was going to develop a bad case of flu - I was shaking and had thumping headaches all day - but in the end it came out in just a simple cold, so I haven't suffered too much since, apart from feeling slightly as if I'm to be sick every now and then - which is not, I must make clear, due to eating too much or anything like that, for I haven't indulged half so much as I usually do. Saying that, I have just eaten my way through a large bag of <em>Marks & Spencer's</em> spring onion flavour crisps - but that's hardly my fault - I didn't realise what I was doing sitting here, and, anyway, I've got rather a passion for them - even if everyone else complains they smell terrible. I hadn't noticed!<br /><br />Altogether I had twelve books of different descriptions. I had asked specifically for books this Christmas.<br /><br />Let's see - what did I have? <ul><li><em>The Concise Oxford Dictionary of English Literature</em></li><li><em>The Concise Oxford Dictionary of Quotations</em></li><li><em>Roget's Thesaurus</em></li><li><em>The Bell Jar</em> Sylvia Plath</li><li><em>Selected Poems</em> Elizabeth Jennings</li><li><em>Persephone</em> Jenny Joseph</li><li><em>Later Poems</em> R.S. Thomas</li><li><em>Cagney and Lacey</em> Serita Deborah Stevens</li><li><em>Wifey</em> Judy Blume</li><li><em>Other Women</em> Lisa Alther</li><li><em>The Swimming Pool Season</em> Rose Tremain</li><li>and one Mum bought for herself,<br /><em>The Christmas Tree</em> Jennifer Johnston,<br />but gave to me because she was afraid to tell Dad she had been spending his money on herself instead of on Christmas presents!!</li></ul></blockquote><br />Hmm - that sums it up nicely, including the rather pointed comment about Mum spending <em>Dad's</em> money. Growing up, I did always have the sense that Dad felt he went out and earned the money, that it was <em>his</em> money, and the rest of us simply spent it. I'm glad to say he's far more relaxed about the way finances are shared now, and how they're spent.<br /><br /><br /><strong>As for the books I had for Christmas in 2006? Don't you want to know about those?</strong> <ul><li><em>The Best of Smash Hits: The '80s</em></li><li><em>Robert Smith: The Cure & Wishful Thinking</em>, an unofficial and unauthorised biography by Richard Carman</li><li><em>Fun Home: A Family Tragicomic</em> Alison Bechdel</li></ul><br />Does that indicate I'm becoming less literary and more musical? Not really. I guess it just proves how nostalgic I am for the 1980s. Mind you, I do have a new musical companion. I call him Spike. He's an <a href="http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/B000FIQS7Q/interactiveda49-21" target="_new">i-Cat</a>. We'll be grooving together to our favourite music during 2007.Nicki Hastiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08688408490931426245noreply@blogger.com0