Out on a dike

Out on a dike phr. [mid 19-C] (US) going out in one's best clothes. [DIKED DOWN] I'm out as a dyke, occasionally out with a dyke. What I do when I'm out on a dike can become your business once I write about it here.

Tuesday, January 01, 2013

Starting all over again

I know I said I was back in my last post. Clearly, I wasn't. That's ok, because I'm learning I don't have to be perfect and this also involves teaching other people that they should learn to trust I will get things wrong. A real world example of this is: don't rely on me to get all the steps absolutely correct in every line dance. Believe in yourself. Rely on yourself. Then we can all have fun and laugh when we go wrong. It's powerful to realise you're not responsible for other people's bodies. Even more powerful to realise you're responsible for your own.

Sometimes I'll be a leader; other times I'll be a follower; and then there are all those times I'll just prefer to stride alone.

I've travelled a long way throughout 2012. It hasn't been at all easy. Do I know where I've been? Not at the time, perhaps. But the view looks good from here. Even looking back on the year it now kind of falls into place. It was necessary to disappear from the world in order to reappear for myself and to understand that I can have a future built on my terms. What other terms are there, you might ask? There are plenty of other terms when you're lost. In fact, only terms decided by anyone but yourself will seem like they'll do.

I finally discovered some self-compassion. I'll be writing more about this, I expect. For today, I'm going to direct you over to a friend's blog. She said it well there.

My first significant action for 2013 has been to launch my redesigned website at www.nickihastie.demon.co.uk. This feels like a new beginning, a new representation of myself - perhaps a truer one - and it's an appropriate date to take this step. I don't need new year resolutions; I just need to remember that I can act in each moment. If I get it wrong, the next moment is waiting.