Empowering

Thank you to everyone who visited my blog for possibly the first time today, or yesterday, following the link from the BBC News website. Shaved heads are big news still - when it's a woman's head. Britney Spears shaving her head appears to be even bigger news. So it's important somebody puts all of this into context, and I appreciate the way the BBC contacted me and invited me to talk about my experience.

Read the BBC News article Mark of a woman. The comments added by readers are very interesting. There are those who object to women shaving their heads. There are others who wonder what all the fuss is about and think we should be talking about something more significant.

Yes indeed, what is all the fuss? I welcome the day there is no fuss. But in the meantime we need to understand that debates focusing on gender and sexual identities underpin the way society is constructed and also govern the way we are expected to lead our lives (informally, and more formally, even into legislative structures). I don't mean to suggest there are any laws (at least none I know of in the UK) about how one may or may not wear one's hair. But fascination, horror and any kind of judgement inbetween indicates just how far we have to go in claiming equal rights - and it's why I'm proud to be a feminist.

Oh right, I hear you say. So she shaves her head because she's a feminist. Typical lesbian-feminist stereotype!

No, actually, or I might have got fed up with the look a long time ago. Remember, I've been shaving my head for nearly 20 years. What being a feminist does is help me to believe in myself and to carry on respecting myself regardless of the people who want to dictate how a woman should be, how she should behave, and how she should look.

On the BBC website, there are also a sizeable number of comments emphasising the liberating and strengthening effects of head shaving, supporting my comment that Britney may be taking control and giving herself a fresh start, on her terms.

I feel empowered by having been invited into the debate outside of this blog. Do I give myself a fresh start, then, every two weeks when I shave my head? I don't always need a fresh start. But I have this amazing opportunity to recognise myself fully, every two weeks - and the best thing is, I still like what I see.

Shaved: when the media has it in for you

The stereotypes about women with shaved heads are alive and well, then.

I don't know if Britney Spears is experiencing a breakdown. Perhaps she is. It's none of my business, and not for me to judge. But why should the media assume that choosing to shave her head is the ultimate sign that she's close to the edge and no longer in control of her own actions? Why can't this be an act of self-care? It could be a sign of emotional turmoil, a cry for help, or it could be a sign of someone who has decided to begin a therapeutic relationship with herself. She could very well be signalling the need for change in her life. She could, however, be beginning to take that control for herself.

Admittedly, Britney Spears didn't shave her head in the privacy of her own apartment; she chose to go to a LA hair salon, attended by ravenous paparazzi and fans, a following which is never likely to help a situation appear cool, calm and collected. But this is a woman who has lived most of her life amidst a media circus. It doesn't necessarily mean this was a rash, frenzied or freakish decision.

She had gone from gorgeous pop idol to grim GI Jane.

This is one of the most depressing things I've read today on the subject of Britney's shaved head, and do you know where that's from? Not your average tabloid, but from an article in The Observer. This reaction is not about one female pop idol. This goes to the heart of society's views on female beauty and what is considered acceptable behaviour for women. Shouldn't our Pop Princesses be able to change?

I know all about the exposing effects of shaving your head when you're a woman. I know about the positive effects. I love myself shaved. Shaving my head is an act of self-love. I feel alive, honest, centred, attractive. Isn't this how most women feel when they decide to pamper themselves? Not all of us pamper in the same way. I often feel I think more clearly when freshly-shaved. I feel confident, more totally me. Definitely gorgeous; not at all grim.

I hope the media take their attention elsewhere, allowing Britney Spears to do whatever she needs to do next, whether this is relaunching her career or entering rehab. Did you know the hair salon is now selling Britney's hair on eBay? Lay off the shaved head, you vultures.

Hair to Stay

Good for Shazia Mirza, the British Muslim comedian, whose New Year's resolution was to stop shaving her body hair.

"The hairs are growing quite nicely, and I am now in a position to have my armpits styled and waxed, and my sideburns permed. I am learning to love my hair," she says.

Read the full article here

Is hair really one of the last taboos when it comes to the female body, as this article suggests? Is it true that hairiness will not be tolerated? The comments following this BBC article suggest there might be more diverse opinion lurking in our midst. This could be hopeful. But I realise that the people tempted to comment on women's hairiness are likely to be those who feel most strongly about the issue - for and against.

Why does this issue always capture the media spotlight in January? I last wrote on the subject in my Deeply Depilatory entry on 22 January 2006. Is it because most women can't be bothered to deal with their body hair during the winter months? Is hairiness tolerated only as long as it's covered up? Ah, I see it's not just that. It's also because Shazia is making a TV programme for the BBC, where hairy women will take part in a fashion show, modeling lingerie.

Why does it have to be lingerie? Who needs to be convinced that hairy armpits and hairy legs (and while we're at it, hairy groins) are sexy? I've known this all my adult life.

Who else agrees? Come on - arms up!

Up Close and Personal

That's better, isn't it! I couldn't take too much more of myself with long hair, so it's about time I wrote something new and knocked the wig off the top spot.

In fact, I need to present my scalp to you, just to prove it's still there.

Well, if you're interested in my musings and how my mind ticks occasionally, here's something else you might want to read. I tell you, celebrating the eleventh anniversary of your relationship (as Andrea and I did on 8th October) really gets you thinking.

Thank goodness we're not the marrying kind, or we might have felt inclined to exchange gifts on a steel theme. Maybe we could do with a new kitchen sink, but it wouldn't have been top of my list. I am a bit disappointed now, however, to discover that I missed out on a pair of roller skates. Damn! If I was more aware of these anniversary metals/alloys, I could have dropped appropriate hints.

Part-time Model

How do you like me with long hair?



I only seem to dress up for charity. We had a Macmillan Coffee Morning at work last Friday and the opportunity to have your photo taken in a range of wigs/hats was part of the deal if prepared to part with some cash.



Don't forget to look out your denims as tomorrow is Jeans for Genes day.

Deeply Depilatory

I came across a hair-related article the other day just crying out for my response. After all, I am the woman who shaves her head and lets the remainder of her body hair fend for itself - apart from one or two stray eyebrows, that is. (We all have our weaknesses.)

Read Plucking Hell by Polly Vernon (The Observer, Sunday 15 January 2006) and you'll learn that Polly is an obsessive plucker. She finds the pain of extreme depilation far easier to cope with than the sight of her own sprouting leg hair. As an experiment, she allowed the hair on her legs to grow until it became all too terrifying and would "physically repulse anyone I show it to." After three and a half weeks she was desperate to shave once more.

I can relate to Polly - but only in an inverted way (no real surprise there, then!) I know exactly what it feels like to go beyond two weeks without the slide of clippers on my head. It's a cruel form of self-torture. I could never achieve three and a half weeks. But put a razor, hot wax, or cream anywhere near my legs, armpits (no! never the armpits!) or (ahem) elsewhere and I'll be fighting to keep the root in every follicle.

Yes, head-shaving is my preferred form of therapy. It keeps me shiny, inside and out. It's also very cheap. Just what are British women doing spending £280 million a year on hair removal? Polly seems to know:

On a more bog-standard and British level, when was the last time you saw a woman expose leg hair or armpit hair, or (heaven forfend!) an untended moustache, on the streets of the UK? The rare female celebrity who dares to venture in front of the paparazzi without first ensuring that every last trace of excess body hair has been plucked from her lithe form is roundly and publicly vilified.

I guess this must mean that women are depilating all over the UK in order to keep out of (or get into, in some cases) Hello, Heat or the News of the World. Just in case they turn into celebrities overnight, I suppose! (Well, anything's possible - just look at Chantelle on Celebrity Big Brother.)

I know, I know - there must be times it would be just as bad, or worse even, having the neighbours or your workmates observe that you're sprouting more than the average woman. But I've said it before, and I'll say it again, it's a pretty sad state of affairs when hair is understood to be the distinguishing measure of how much of a woman (or man) you are. It all depends where on the body you're looking, of course.

There is a suggestion in Polly Vernon's article that women have to remove more hair these days because we are becoming hairier. One of the ironies I see is that my leg hair is probably less rampant than most women's (were they to let it grow) if they have been shaving or using other depilatory methods for many years. Removing hair encourages hair growth - doesn't it? Or is that one of the myths our mothers used to stop us shaving too soon?

If women are becoming hairier surely it's because they keep plucking, scraping and ripping it off. It's the hair fighting back.

By the end of Polly's article I'm able to admit I have one thing in common with the pluckers. I like hair to be in its place. Velvet and cropped on my head. Unshaven elsewhere. I enjoy the different pleasures my natural body hair gives me. I'm never repulsed by leg hair poking out the bottom of a woman's trouser. I prefer a fluffy underarm on a woman. I think it's amazingly sexy. Each to their own. My hope would be that £280 million is being spent because every woman is genuinely determined to pleasure and enjoy her body in the way she desires it for herself; not because she is attempting to buy an image of femininity and public acceptance in a gender (how to be a woman)-obsessed society.

When was the last time you saw a woman expose leg hair or armpit hair? If it was a little warmer in the UK I'd be doing it every day. I can't wait till summer.

Fantasy Fortunes

I downloaded my WeeMee from Friends Reunited to my mobile phone recently. So I've decided my
alter-ego deserves to have a few adventures - to get out there and see some of the world, some of the places I've seen and possibly others I haven't. The Grand Canyon is top of the list of places already visited.

It's lucky I'd thought ahead and provided a feline companion to ensure my WeeMee traveller isn't too lonely out there. It's also a form of dedication to Bradley, a lovely grey cat who adopted this house as his home and decided to share the best years of his life with us. He sadly departed this world in January 2004.

Actually, the cat friends on Friends Reunited only come in grey. The owners (soon to be ITV, as announced just last week, I'm so up on my dot com current affairs!) might want to consider a new feature - "Select and colour a pet". But at least I'm happy with this one colour choice. Bradley will never let my WeeMee down.

Where shall I send WeeMee next? It could be like the National Lottery Jet Set. Keep living the luxury lifestyle for as long as you can in a new location each week. Without Eamonn Holmes, of course - which is maybe not a bad thing. Living a life of fantasy, on the other hand, can be a good thing. Especially when you feel you've been chained to a desk for the past few months and know you're not going to travel anywhere too soon.

My head is freshly shaved today. It's the least I could do knowing that Curtis Bickham over at Head-Liner.com has just this week reproduced my essay - A Woman Shaved: a sign of what? - in his latest online volume of head-shaving stories. It's a volume all about women, too.

A Cut Above

I've been having more hair-inspired conversations than usual this week. Perhaps it's because I actually discovered what it's like to have head hair of measurable proportions on Friday. I think a bright pink bob suits me pretty well, but I wasn't keen on the need to keep brushing hairs out of my eyes. How does anyone live with a floppy fringe?

Can a year really have passed since I last donned the pink for Wear it Pink day? Loved the suit. The perfect poser's attire. So I struck that pink pose and you see me here as a piece of street art - the kind that doesn't want to blend too easily into the background.

I won't be growing my hair. The act and art of head shaving is far too special. Elsewhere this week, I've been forming head shaving connections through hair-inspired confessions at The Book of Kellies and an invitation to visit Head-Liner.com, which pleased me with this objective: to "uphold the image of the bald head through experiences, research and community outreach". That's all fine by me. I think of myself as shaved rather than bald, but I'm all for experiences, research and community outreach. Sounds strangely like my life. Yes, I've done a bit of each of those things.

If you haven't seen it yet, go out and get a copy of the new Diva magazine (December 2005 edition). It arrived in the mail today. Proudly sport your shaved head and your unshaved armpits. (The weather is unseasonably mild for November so it's still distinctly possible to display both this time of year.) Heads don't need to be hairy in my world, but armpits do. It's about time a lesbian magazine displayed the truth on its front cover. Ok, I'm sure there's a website out there upholding the image of the bald armpit but it's not for me and I'm not going there. Not even to look a little more pink!